Are you worried a lot? Still would! There are so many unknown and unpredictable things in our lives. The danger of losing everything, being offended or rejected lies in wait at every step. Disease, job loss, betrayal, failure, loneliness, aging, poverty, crime and terrorism are the most common topics for unrest.
Persistent insurmountable anxiety is the main symptom of generalized anxiety disorder, but our brain is programmed for anxiety. It generates scenarios of possible future events so that we can prepare and deal with the threat.
When our ancestors lived in the jungle, those who better foresaw where predators hid were more likely to survive and pass on their genes to future generations.
But modern man's anxiety deprives us of joy, makes us live in the past and can lead to self-destruction, depleting energy.
How to worry less?
1. Meditation of self-awareness.
Watching the breath is just one of many ways to practice self-awareness. Another form of meditation is to calmly accept emotions.
We notice, name and allow any experience to exist, including thoughts, feelings and physical sensations.
Instruction manual
Look inside yourself. Mark any thoughts, emotions, sensations as soon as they appear in the field of your consciousness. Immerse yourself in the experiences of what is happening to you here and now. Each time you recognize a sensation, thought or feeling, acknowledge its presence, give it a name if you can. Let the emotions be what they are.
This meditation effectively reduces acute anxiety. By allowing disturbing thoughts to exist, observing them without appreciation and condemnation, without reacting to them, we reduce their intensity and frequency.
2. Acceptance of uncertainty.
If you are often worried, you probably want to feel more confident about tomorrow. It’s difficult for you to put up with even the small probability that something unpleasant can happen.
Anxiety gives you the illusion of control over future negative events, although it does not help to overcome them. You are subconsciously convinced that if you don’t worry, you will become vulnerable to danger and inevitable damage.
But this belief is false. Anxiety allows us to avoid future danger only when it helps to cope with a problem. Unfortunately, most anxieties are simply negative obsessive thoughts that offer no solution and only make you feel worse. Each alarming thought entails more and more negative ones. Your partner will leave you, you will not meet anyone else, you will not have children and you will spend the rest of your life alone!
The desire to be confident in tomorrow is a natural human need, but it cannot be satisfied. Life is inherently changeable and unpredictable. Many terrible events can occur, but the probability of most of them is small. And even if they happen, you can cope with them, find support and continue to live.
How to reduce existential anxiety? Make a conscious choice that teaches you to come to terms with uncertainty. Just because you are not 100% safe doesn’t mean that something terrible will happen. And if that happens, anxiety will not help anyway. If you are obsessed with warranties, let go of this need. Go back to the present, remind yourself that you are safe and nothing bad is happening to you right now.
3. Perfectionism.
Anxious people are prone to perfectionism. They are anxious not to make a mistake. They feel that they are responsible for the negative result. Perfectionists believe that they should always make perfect decisions and prevent any complications that might happen.
These beliefs make them worry more and more. They even feel guilty if they were not worried enough and could not foresee everything. The perfectionist believes that he should investigate every negative opportunity and find a solution before you can move on. But thoughts of negative possibilities make him even more worried, coming up with increasingly terrible situations.
To reduce anxiety, be aware of your perfectionist tendencies and desire for excessive responsibility, evaluate their impact on your life. Perfectionists want to control everything, so the secret to getting rid of perfectionism is the acceptance and understanding that much in life is beyond our control. Allow yourself to make mistakes and make imperfect decisions. Tell yourself that you are just a person and you don’t have to do everything perfectly.
4. The transformation of anxiety.
When anxieties are abstract, toxic thoughts swarm in the head, and it's hard for us to deal with them. Therefore, try to clothe your anxiety in a specific form and give it a name, for example, "Alarmed Valya." Imagine how she warps with a worried face, constantly tugging at your hand to indicate another negative possibility.
When you notice "Alarmed Valya," talk to her. You can say that she is not your boss and you do not have to obey her. Or express sympathy by asking what she needs from you. Assure her that you are managing the situation, or try to negotiate with her. Perhaps she will agree to back off a bit if you promise that you will begin work on the project early and will not frighten it, putting it off until the last minute. Try to understand what worries her. Perhaps, “Alarmed Valya” is a model of thinking that developed after the danger experienced in childhood or as a response to neglect or excessive guardianship by parents.
These methods of reducing anxiety will help you manage anxiety and become more self-confident.
